alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
