I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's never too late to be topless.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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