Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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