are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
