i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
