Yo dont text me then not text me
so explain again why im purple
no
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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