Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
