Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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