Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
