ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
