Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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