please come you make the beer taste better
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize