In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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