It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
