Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize