Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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