I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize