just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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