roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
