I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
