Where is the hickey?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
