i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
