he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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