Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
