do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
