it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
