dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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