Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
