She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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