There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
