We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm having to shit out rocks
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