gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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