Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
