omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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