Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
