direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
the liver wants what the liver wants
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The adults are the big ones right?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
