ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
