does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
