Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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