just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
