Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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