Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
