Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
