3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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