He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
