when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
