If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
