just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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