I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
