she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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