Whod you bang
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
