how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
