She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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