so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I party with great urgency now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
