my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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