i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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