dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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