don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
