it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
