he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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