Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
