Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
