He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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